We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
