thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
