Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
