Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
