so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
