I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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