I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
FUCK WHALES
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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