Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
