I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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