Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
