clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
