the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
