its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
