Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize