if i can run in heels then i can drive
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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