was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
