Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
