She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
