Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
