I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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