we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The power of my boobs compel you
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
