Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
