I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize