You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize