Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
do herpes really smell.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
