Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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