you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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