Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
