its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
