i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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