Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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