tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
