So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
