The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
