Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
