no, he came in my armpit
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
