I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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