We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
