I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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