Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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