Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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