just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
