wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
