Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
