apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
