he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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