sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
