ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
