As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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