piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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