I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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