I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
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dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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