they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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