There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Found the puke drawer
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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