Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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