So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
