We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
