Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
