god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
