My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
