Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
