The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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