WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
