i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you're hired as official boob wrangler
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
