You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
