i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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