i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
